Love's A Loaded Gun
by wildiori
Summary: Kurt Hummel's world is shaken by the kiss Karofsky took from him in the locker room. Can he get Karofsky to show him affection again? Or will the kiss be his only memory of humanity in the bully?
1. Prologue

Love's A Loaded Gun

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or concepts from the show Glee.**

**A/N: Born This Way never happened. Kurt didn't transfer to Dalton. The bullying continued... and got worse. This fic explores a different viewpoint of Never Been Kissed. It shows that the first kiss changed everything, even about how Kurt feels towards Karofsky. It put him under a spell to where it's all he can think about and continually searches for acceptance and affection from a bully who is seemingly cold. The rejection he'll bare at the hands of Karofsky will be his challenge in the overall story. Can he get Karofsky to show him affection again? Or will the kiss be his only memory of humanity in the bully?**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

3 A.M.

It destroyed the man inside watching his boy, the only son he had, tossing and turning in his sleep. A seventeen year old boy with all of his future lying ahead of him should be sleeping soundly, dreaming big dreams; not screaming and moaning desperately in what seemed like an inescapable peril.

Burt Hummel stood in the doorway of his son's room helplessly observing as a bystander to the conflict occurring within his boy. He looked on with deep concern, finally deciding to take action.

"Kurt?" The man called, moving over to the bedside and nudging his son lightly to wake him.

The boy's eyes opened slightly, the sight of his father blurry in his vision. He closed his eyes. He could feel the cold sweat nesting on his forehead, panic cold in his mind. Even when his eyes were closed and he was enveloped in darkness the world still spun. There was a great buzzing in his head like rushing water from an open faucet, until for a moment the voice broke through it again.

Burt stared down anxiously at the pale face, the dark-smudged eyes, the damp hair. "Kurt!" He tried once again more forcefully.

Kurt suddenly sat upright, eyes wide and staring. He looked at his father, pleading, without recognition. His face crumpled and he dropped back helplessly, tears running down his cheeks. His father leaned over him, his arms around him, murmuring soothingly as if he were a baby. In a few moments he began to relax, and to breathe more easily.

"It's gotten worse, hasn't it?"

Burt turned to the doorway, still holding Kurt. Carole Hudson, now Hummel, stood where he once was; distress in her expression. "Just another bad night," said Burt dolefully. "Don't worry. He'll sleep now. The worst is over."

Carole stepped closer to the man, rubbing his back in circles soothingly for comfort. "Poor, kid. He hasn't gotten a good night's sleep in over a month..."

"I'm going to start looking for a second job," Burt announced, stroking his only son's damp forehead. "It may not be for a while, but when I can afford it, I'm going to get him away from that school. I just can't stand to see him like this."

Kurt moved his head onto his pillow, muttering, falling back into a deep sleep. Burt and Carole watched him doze off with sympathy in their hearts. Hopefully this time he would rest peacefully.

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><p>Morning sunshine streamed like banners through the windows of Kurt's bedroom. One of the things he missed the most about having a basement for a bedroom was that sunlight could not find its way in to disturb his sleep. The only thing that enticed him to get out of bed was the smell of breakfast coming from downstairs. When it was just him and his dad, toast and overdone eggs were the only items on the menu. But since his dad remarried, it was no longer a grab n' go. Carole wouldn't let the boys out the door without something in their stomachs.<p>

Meanwhile, downstairs, Finn swallowed his last mouthful of bacon, watching his mother with affection as she bustled about the kitchen. "Mom, this is great."

Burt entered the kitchen with the newspaper, taking the cup of coffee Carole held out for him. "Smells good in here," he said, pecking his wife on the cheek. The man looked over at Finn, smiling. "I see you've wasted no time this morning."

"I'm the star quarterback of the McKinley Titans," said Finn after gulping down his orange juice. "Can't win on my good looks alone."

Burt grinned. "Right. Whatever you say, Finn. Just leave some there for your brother, would you?" Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of footsteps scrambling down the stairway.

Kurt looked rushed as he dropped his schoolbag by the table taking his seat in front of the plate of food Carole had set out for him. "Sorry," he apologized, taking his fork in hand.

"Might be a couple of hours late at the shop today," Burt said sitting down at the table with his boys. "I have to stop by the bank and get a new tire for the Escalade. The car that jumped up in the air all by itself."

Finn, with his mouth full of a pop tart, made a strangled noise of protest. "Now, Burt," he said swallowing. "I know how it sounded, but really I'm not crazy, there was nothing that could have made it swerve over to the side like that. Unless the steering rod is going."

"There is nothing wrong with the steering of that car," Burt replied unconvinced.

"Well, then!" Finn was all elbows and indignation. "I'm telling you it just lurched over for no reason at all. Ask Kurt."

"It's true," Kurt said. "The car did sort of jump sideways. I don't see what could have made it jump, unless we ran over something-but it would have had to been something huge. And there was no sign of anything anywhere."

"Teaming up on me, huh?" said Burt. "Well, I'll check the steering anyway. You need a ride to school?"

"We're taking the bus," Finn answered.

"And Mercedes is giving me a ride home so I don't have to sit through football practice," Kurt added quickly. "No offense, Finn."

Carole swooped by the table to take everyone's plate, dropping them off in the sink. "Well you boys better get going," she said, beginning to rinse the dishes.

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><p>On the bus ride to school, Kurt sat staring outside of his window, getting lost in nothing in particular. He caught sight of a billboard as the bus made its route to the school. It was an ad for fresh breath, some kind of brand of mint. Internally, something went astray as he took in the ad; two people kissing, both of them smiling. He felt a pang in his heart, the sight triggering a memory... one he was unable to shake. Every single day that passed since then, he remembered.<p>

_You are nothing but a scared little boy__ who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are...! _

The kiss. The bully at school... the one he wished would just disappear... the one who made his life a living hell... the kiss was so unexpected; his very first kiss. Until then, Kurt couldn't imagine having feelings for the brute, Karofsky. That was his name: Dave Karofsky. The kiss changed everything. It had to have possessed some kind of magical powers consuming and distorting the very concept of actual reality. It left the boy with feelings of confusion, uncertainty, disdain, heartache, and a unquenchable longing for the bully's affection. And it would only add salt to the wound at school when Karofsky acted like nothing ever happened, continuing to bully Kurt. Being shoved into a locker hurt twice as much now. It didn't only cause him physical pain, but brought on emotional trauma as well. He would give Karofsky a pleading look as his body slumped down the length of the lockers to the floor. But Karofsky's eyes were cold and emotionless showing no signs of sympathy for the boy.

"Kurt?"

The boy escaped his daze by the sound of his brother's voice.

"We're here, man." Finn reached out and touched his arm. He said gently, "Are you okay?"

Kurt blinked at him, "Oh, I'm fine. Just daydreaming, I guess..."

Finn smiled at his brother, although unconvinced by his reply. Kurt felt that his family sensed his troubled state but were unsure of how to approach it; the way he skipped dinner occasionally and locked himself away in his room; how he would sleep through the weekends ignoring all of his phone calls and texts; the way his enthusiasm for Glee diminished; and then the nightmares.

Kurt tried harder for his brother's sake. "Finn. Really, I'm okay!" He said laughing. "You're such a worry worm."

Finn grinned. "Okay, come on. I'll walk you to your first class."

_To be continued in Chapter One: Bang Bang_

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><p><strong>AN: This is meant to be short. Anyway, this is the prologue to the story. You are introduced to the feelings inside Kurt after the kiss in the locker room. More drama to come, I guarantee! Please review! I would love to know what you guys think about it so far! :-)**_  
><em>


	2. Bang Bang

Love's A Loaded Gun

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or concepts from the show Glee.**

**A/N: Aw, no reviews for my first contribution. :( Hope it wasn't that terrible! Well, anyway, I have a new chapter for anyone who is reading the fic. Hope you like it.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter One: Bang Bang<strong>

Glee practice had been dramatic. Mercedes had left rehearsal after venting about being under-appreciated and overlooked. Kurt glared at the group to show his disappointment in them before running after Mercedes. She was no where to be found in the hallways. He checked the girls bathroom as well, but no luck. It was outside near the parking lot that he found her, slumped over and crying. He swung his book bag off his shoulder and sat down beside his friend, fiddling with the strap.

"I'm always going to be in her shadow," Mercedes said between sobs. "No one is ever going to see me with Rachel Berry hogging the spotlight every chance she gets."

Kurt ran one finger idly up and down the strap of his book bag. "Don't let her get to you, Mercedes."

"That's easy for you to say," she retorted bitterly. "You're a boy. None of the boys can sing like you. I'm always butting heads with Rachel. She always gets her way and I'm tired of it."

"So, quitting Glee is the answer?" Kurt asked. "Whether you're there or not, Rachel is going to be on that stage. Quitting won't do anything but make it easier for her."

"I know," said Mercedes in a frustrated manner. She wiped away her tears and sighed. "Thanks, Kurt."

He smiled at her.

"Look, I'm going to go back in and get my things and I'll take you home," she said getting up.

"Okay," Kurt said. "I'll wait for you right here." He watched Mercedes make her way back into the school, sighing deeply.

An arid thought crept into his mind as he waited:

_Courage_. That's the wisdom Blaine Anderson bestowed upon him when he had trouble confronting Karofsky a while back. _Courage_ led him after the bully into the locker room; it challenged the jock and broke him down. _Courage_ collapsed the bully's wall of defense, exposing him for the first time. _Courage_ cornered Karofsky, none of his threats working against the determined boy. Kurt could still feel the desperate nature of the act that followed; the whimper Karofsky let out after their lips were pressed together; the jock's big hands on either side of Kurt's face holding him in place. Nobody knew what pain looked like on Karofsky. But when Kurt pushed him away after the bully attempted a second kiss, it was then revealed. The look of dejection on his face; Kurt would never forget it. That would be the last time Karofsky would ever let himself be vulnerable.

"Looky what we have here, guys."

Kurt was instantly alarmed at the sight of three goons approaching him not even taking notice of the group until it was too late...

"A fairy has gone straying from his magical rainbow," one said jeering. "My slut of a sister doesn't even wear clothes that tight." They closed in on him, leaving him no where to run.

Kurt stood up clutching his bag tightly. "I'm not looking for any trouble," he trembled. He stepped backwards instinctively but was shoved from behind. Kurt fell forward to the ground and the thugs began laughing and mocking him.

Kurt lifted his head from the ground, a glimpse of a certain jock catching his eye. He could see through the spaces between the legs of his attackers that circled him, Dave Karofsky. There he stood a few yards away, watching. His expression was unreadable. Their eyes locked.

The thugs that surrounded Kurt finished toying and taunting the boy, now resorting to more physical attacks. Through kicks and stomps, Kurt never let his eyes stray from Karofsky's.

Kurt crawled, his body wrought with pain from being kicked and shoved around. He inched his way towards the only hope left for him. He reached for Karofsky's leg and pulled himself to the boy. He looked up at him, his vision beginning to blur. He cried, holding onto his bully's leg for dear life. "P-Please...," he begged helplessly, blood lining his mouth.

Karofsky looked down upon the beaten boy. And for the first time since the kiss in the locker room, conflict seemed to arise in him.

"Let's cut him up a little bit," one of the goons said, stepping towards the pair, exposing a blade.

"Yeah, carve faggot into him so he never forgets," another one said.

Karofsky's blood began to boil. His jaw locked into place, taking another glance to the boy at his feet. He stepped forward finally, acting as a shield for him. "Put the knife down," he growled at Kurt's attackers.

"You want some too, punk?" one of them taunted, walking up to him and pushing him. Karofsky was hardly phased by it.

"Put the god damn knife down!" Karofsky warned again, gritting his teeth.

"Let's beat the crap out of him!" one of the guys yelled launching himself at the jock. Karofsky was quick to dodge him, sending a solid fist straight into the guy's jaw knocking him senseless. Another one joined and started to tussle with him, both of them jabbing each other in the stomach with hard blows.

With a snarl of fury, the goon who carried the knife charged forward, scrambling up in a venomous rage towards where Karofsky and the other guy were grappling each other.

"Dave!" Kurt managed to shout, trying desperately to warn him of the advance.

Karofsky pushed the one guy off of him and turned just in time to hop backward, the slash of the knife slicing his shirt and nicking the flesh of his abdomen. A frenzy of other attempts were made, but Karofsky managed to tackle his assailant and knocked the knife out of his hand. But it was only a matter of time before the others rallied and overwhelmed him.

Karofsky growled, captured and held back by the other thugs. He looked over to where Kurt was laying motionless, finally passing out from being beaten so badly.

The one with the knife regained the weapon and walked over to Karofsky grabbing his face and pointing at him with the blade. "Now you're going to pay!"

Karofsky spat in the guy's face. "Eat shit." The jock gave one final struggle against his captors and somehow released himself from their grasp. He made an attempt to put the one with the knife out of commission, but as he advanced the weapon poked him in the ribs. Karofsky fell to his knees, holding his side.

"Let's get out of here!"

The three goons left the wounded jock there, slumped over breathing heavily. He pulled his hand away from the stab and noticed the blood coating his palm. And then suddenly, everything went dark.

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><p>Kurt woke up first. He tried to move but felt instantly uncomfortable. There were several medical tubes patched into him, monitoring his health. Every part of his body ached. The whiteness of the room was blinding, the sterile walls and floors illuminating with the reflection of the light. The nurse caring for him took notice of his wakened state when Kurt groaned with pain.<p>

"Oh!" The nurse quickly attended to him. "Are you alright?"

Kurt could barely keep his eyes open. "What... happened? How did I get here?"

"Try not to move around so much," the nurse said, pulling out some pain medication. "Here. This will help you relax." The nurse sat by Kurt, tilting his head back. "Can you open your mouth for me?"

Kurt did as he was told, a few pills were dropped into his mouth.

"Here," the nurse said, handing him a glass of water. "You should be okay, now. You were beat up pretty bad. I think your friend over there saved you."

Kurt turned instantly. Karofsky was in the next bed to him with his eyes closed. His shirt was removed and a bandage wrapping was covering his ribs.

"Call if you need anything. For now, please try and get some rest." The nurse exited the room, leaving the two boys alone.

Kurt studied the jock next to him. He was so broad and strong, breathing lightly, his stomach going up and down with each breath. Kurt noticed the hair on his chest as well, never actually seeing any on the other boys at school. His arms were thick like tree trunks. It was no wonder that he survived the attack. Nobody else could have fended off three guys like that.

"Quit staring at me," Karofsky mumbled.

Kurt gasped not noticing the jock had been watching him while lost in his stare. "S-sorry... I... I'm sorry."

Karofsky grunted and closed his eyes again.

Kurt looked his way again, biting his bottom lip. "Thanks for saving me..."

The bully snorted. "Don't think this changes anything, Fancy. I'm not your guardian angel. I'm not even your friend."

Kurt frowned, his heart swelling up in his chest. How would he ever be able to tell Karofsky what was going on inside of him if he was always being met with hostility and rejection? "Say what you want," Kurt sniffed, wiping away some tears running down his cheeks. "I knew you'd stop them. I just had this feeling."

"Let's get something straight," Karofsky replied coldly. "I only stopped those guys from beating the crap out of you because I was there, and if I hadn't done anything people probably would have thought I did it. I don't give a damn if anything happens to you." The bully turned over onto his side facing away from Kurt showing he was done talking. It was a dismissal.

Kurt nodded, miserably still sniffling from crying. "I hate you..." he uttered, closing his eyes tightly. He received no response from Karofsky.

_**I hate you.**_

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><p>To be continued in Chapter Two: Heart of Stone<p> 


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